Open Door Policy

See this door:

I insist this door stay open. As Queen Abbi has already mentioned, we've been receiving a lot of rain this week. My story begins at 2:30 AM. Another wicked storm has settled in for the night, however I don't mind since I have adequate shelter in the porch. A particularly nasty gust of wind has blown the door shut. I give the male human a moment to realize this unacceptable predicament, however there is no immediate response on his part. I shout out an order to him but the stupid head does not hear me. I drag myself out from under the covered couch, sit on the threshold of the door, and incessantly scream for him. The male still fails to appear. After increasing the volume of my voice, he finally stumbles into the porch and props open the door. I casually glance toward the door to inspect his work, then resume my slumber on the couch.